In regard to my previous post, specifically the comment about how I yell too much, my mom shared an experience with me.
A long time ago she went to have her temple recommend interview with Marlin Jensen, who was at that time our stake president. He asked her the question about whether there was anything in her relationship with her family members that was contrary to the teachings of Christ. She told him that she yelled too much. He advised her not to yell, and then said that it "will destroy their psyche." (I think those are the words she said he used.)
Anyway, when Mom shared that, it really hit me. I can tell that it affects the kids when I yell. I'm not abusive - I don't call them names or belittle them at all. But I definitely could do better about raising my voice.
So I made a goal. Starting that day, I wasn't going to yell anymore.
It's been about 10 days now, and I'm pleased to report that I have only yelled three times. Maybe four. But still, that's enormous improvement for me. And I'm also pleased to report that they have responded very well. As I have found other ways to get them to do what I need them to do, they have been more cooperative and helpful; consequently, we have all been happier. I could get used to this.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
33
Thirty-three thoughts on this day:
1. When Mom was my age, she had five kids, ages 4 to 13. She had been through what was (up until that point, at least) the hardest time in her life, when my family was in the process of moving to Delta and my dad actually moved down there first for several months. Mom and the rest of us stayed in Huntsville until the house sold.
2. I would not have been a very good mom of five kids. I already yell too much, and I'm pretty sure it would be a lot worse with two more kids.
3. Now that I know we're done having kids, I've gotten "real" life insurance. (My patriarchal blessing promises that I will live long enough to see my children reach maturity, so I've always kind of jokingly considered that my "life insurance" policy.)
4. I hate waking up to a sink of dirty dishes. I hate it worse than just about anything. It's the surest way to have a rotten morning.
5. I have very mixed feelings about my parents moving away from Delta. Fountain Green is nice, too, but it will be very strange to visit my parents in a different town.
6. I fall in love with my kids again every day.
7. That being said, I also have moments where I really hate the word "mom." As my mom sometimes used to say, I wish I could change my name.
8. Why don't kids ever say "Dad" in the same whining/complaining/tattling tone that they say "Mom"?
9. I'm really grateful to be out of debt and have a solid savings plan. That makes me feel liberated and empowered.
10. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't love to rip apart my whole kitchen and replace the floors and cabinets.
11. Our ward has lost a lot of good strong families recently. I'm really bummed about that.
12. I've never been very good at keeping in touch with people.
13. Last night was Lauren's first night in a "big girl" bed. She did awesome. Probably because she's terrified of Jeff, so when he told her to lie down, she did what she was told. She probably didn't move all night long.
14. Unfortunately, however, she can now get out of bed on her own in the morning. Very, very early.
15. I really hate World of Warcraft and fantasy football.
16. I'm addicted to Pampered Chef. I got their knives, and I am a little obsessed with them.
17. Poor editing drives me crazy. But having worked at a newspaper, I know how hard it is to really catch everything. But still, I'm quite sure that a certain local paper could benefit greatly by having a couple of freelance, at-home copy editors. And I'd be happy to offer my services - for a fee, of course.
18. I've worked in hotels for nearly eight years. I've seen and dealt with some really strange things, but I've only been scared of a guest once.
19. I really want to go to law school.
20. I have mixed feelings about a lot of things - like Jeff's new job (same agency, different position). He has to work from the office again, which is a bummer. But I'm really kind of looking forward to a little more time and space in my sewing room.
21. I'm also really, really proud of Jeff and all the hard work he has done to get where he is in his work.
22. I once had my belly button pierced. I had it done a few months before I received my temple endowment. I took it out while I went through the temple, and intended to put it back in afterwards. But I couldn't get it back in; therefore, I now just have a funny little scar near my belly button.
23. I love our van. I would choose it over any SUV any day.
24. I have a sick and twisted desire to see Cowboys vs. Aliens. Because honestly, Harrison Ford AND Daniel Craig in the same movie? Even something as lame as Cowboys vs. Aliens just might be worth it.
25. I really love to read, but I don't know how other moms of young kids make time for it. I struggle to make time to read my scriptures. I can only dream of reading The Help just for fun.
26. I'm not at all emotional about my kids getting older and moving on to new things (school, etc.) - until THEY get emotional. Then I can't handle it anymore.
27. I really like the smell of coffee.
28. I sing at the top of my lungs when it's just the kids and me in the van.
29. When I was little and lived in Huntsville, Kathleen VanCampen and I were the founding members of "The Unicorn Club." Yeah, we were really cool.
30. I'm glad I'm not the Activities Committee Leader anymore, but I do kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to arrange that ward water fight.
31. I love NCIS. I really want to get all the seasons on DVD. But when would I watch them? Oh yeah, right after I read my scriptures. You know, with all that free time I have.
32. I'm seriously considering quitting my job. I've been telling Jeff for a long time that when he got his new job, I would quit mine. But now that he has it, I'm kind of waffling. Here come those mixed feelings again.... (Jen, just in case you read this, I wouldn't be quitting until at least the end of the year.)
33. I realized today that keeping up with all the dishes and laundry, over and over and over, is kind of like trying to fill the ocean with a tablespoon. No matter how much you do, it will never be done. Kind of depressing. Which is probably why I so like to wake up to an empty sink - it makes me feel like I've already accomplished something each day.
I'm lame, I know. :)
1. When Mom was my age, she had five kids, ages 4 to 13. She had been through what was (up until that point, at least) the hardest time in her life, when my family was in the process of moving to Delta and my dad actually moved down there first for several months. Mom and the rest of us stayed in Huntsville until the house sold.
2. I would not have been a very good mom of five kids. I already yell too much, and I'm pretty sure it would be a lot worse with two more kids.
3. Now that I know we're done having kids, I've gotten "real" life insurance. (My patriarchal blessing promises that I will live long enough to see my children reach maturity, so I've always kind of jokingly considered that my "life insurance" policy.)
4. I hate waking up to a sink of dirty dishes. I hate it worse than just about anything. It's the surest way to have a rotten morning.
5. I have very mixed feelings about my parents moving away from Delta. Fountain Green is nice, too, but it will be very strange to visit my parents in a different town.
6. I fall in love with my kids again every day.
7. That being said, I also have moments where I really hate the word "mom." As my mom sometimes used to say, I wish I could change my name.
8. Why don't kids ever say "Dad" in the same whining/complaining/tattling tone that they say "Mom"?
9. I'm really grateful to be out of debt and have a solid savings plan. That makes me feel liberated and empowered.
10. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't love to rip apart my whole kitchen and replace the floors and cabinets.
11. Our ward has lost a lot of good strong families recently. I'm really bummed about that.
12. I've never been very good at keeping in touch with people.
13. Last night was Lauren's first night in a "big girl" bed. She did awesome. Probably because she's terrified of Jeff, so when he told her to lie down, she did what she was told. She probably didn't move all night long.
14. Unfortunately, however, she can now get out of bed on her own in the morning. Very, very early.
15. I really hate World of Warcraft and fantasy football.
16. I'm addicted to Pampered Chef. I got their knives, and I am a little obsessed with them.
17. Poor editing drives me crazy. But having worked at a newspaper, I know how hard it is to really catch everything. But still, I'm quite sure that a certain local paper could benefit greatly by having a couple of freelance, at-home copy editors. And I'd be happy to offer my services - for a fee, of course.
18. I've worked in hotels for nearly eight years. I've seen and dealt with some really strange things, but I've only been scared of a guest once.
19. I really want to go to law school.
20. I have mixed feelings about a lot of things - like Jeff's new job (same agency, different position). He has to work from the office again, which is a bummer. But I'm really kind of looking forward to a little more time and space in my sewing room.
21. I'm also really, really proud of Jeff and all the hard work he has done to get where he is in his work.
22. I once had my belly button pierced. I had it done a few months before I received my temple endowment. I took it out while I went through the temple, and intended to put it back in afterwards. But I couldn't get it back in; therefore, I now just have a funny little scar near my belly button.
23. I love our van. I would choose it over any SUV any day.
24. I have a sick and twisted desire to see Cowboys vs. Aliens. Because honestly, Harrison Ford AND Daniel Craig in the same movie? Even something as lame as Cowboys vs. Aliens just might be worth it.
25. I really love to read, but I don't know how other moms of young kids make time for it. I struggle to make time to read my scriptures. I can only dream of reading The Help just for fun.
26. I'm not at all emotional about my kids getting older and moving on to new things (school, etc.) - until THEY get emotional. Then I can't handle it anymore.
27. I really like the smell of coffee.
28. I sing at the top of my lungs when it's just the kids and me in the van.
29. When I was little and lived in Huntsville, Kathleen VanCampen and I were the founding members of "The Unicorn Club." Yeah, we were really cool.
30. I'm glad I'm not the Activities Committee Leader anymore, but I do kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to arrange that ward water fight.
31. I love NCIS. I really want to get all the seasons on DVD. But when would I watch them? Oh yeah, right after I read my scriptures. You know, with all that free time I have.
32. I'm seriously considering quitting my job. I've been telling Jeff for a long time that when he got his new job, I would quit mine. But now that he has it, I'm kind of waffling. Here come those mixed feelings again.... (Jen, just in case you read this, I wouldn't be quitting until at least the end of the year.)
33. I realized today that keeping up with all the dishes and laundry, over and over and over, is kind of like trying to fill the ocean with a tablespoon. No matter how much you do, it will never be done. Kind of depressing. Which is probably why I so like to wake up to an empty sink - it makes me feel like I've already accomplished something each day.
I'm lame, I know. :)
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thankful Thursday
Haven't seen one of these in a while, huh?
1. Modern conveniences. I'm really thankful that I can put dirty clothes in my washer, move the clean wet clothes to a dryer, and then just have to fold them and put them away. And I love that I can put my dishes in a dishwasher, push a button and go do something fun while the machine does the work. I sometimes wonder how people ever had time to have ANY fun before these things were around.
2. Hot water in my house. Okay, so maybe this is sort of like #1, but indoor plumbing isn't as modern a convenience as the dishwasher (I don't think). While I was on my mission, I saw a lot of women and children carrying 5-gallon buckets of water on their heads from far away. They had to carefully conserve it to bathe, cook, wash dishes, etc. And it wasn't hot. So every once in a while when I turn on my hot water to rinse my hands off, or fill a pan with water, or wash Lauren's face, I just feel a little bit of gratitude for being able to do that without worrying about it.
3. Good-natured kids. Seriously. My kids have their moments, but overall, they are pretty darn well behaved.
4. Some extra hours at work, and opportunities to make some extra money on the side. Yeah, have to support my recent Pampered Chef addiction somehow.
5. The chance to try new things. In the past couple of weeks I've tried sushi, zumba, jicama, and yoga. Some experiences were better than others.
6. Jeff. I'm pretty lucky to have a husband who is so supportive of me. He encourages me to develop my talents. He tells me I'm beautiful. He lights up when he sees me, and I love it.
1. Modern conveniences. I'm really thankful that I can put dirty clothes in my washer, move the clean wet clothes to a dryer, and then just have to fold them and put them away. And I love that I can put my dishes in a dishwasher, push a button and go do something fun while the machine does the work. I sometimes wonder how people ever had time to have ANY fun before these things were around.
2. Hot water in my house. Okay, so maybe this is sort of like #1, but indoor plumbing isn't as modern a convenience as the dishwasher (I don't think). While I was on my mission, I saw a lot of women and children carrying 5-gallon buckets of water on their heads from far away. They had to carefully conserve it to bathe, cook, wash dishes, etc. And it wasn't hot. So every once in a while when I turn on my hot water to rinse my hands off, or fill a pan with water, or wash Lauren's face, I just feel a little bit of gratitude for being able to do that without worrying about it.
3. Good-natured kids. Seriously. My kids have their moments, but overall, they are pretty darn well behaved.
4. Some extra hours at work, and opportunities to make some extra money on the side. Yeah, have to support my recent Pampered Chef addiction somehow.
5. The chance to try new things. In the past couple of weeks I've tried sushi, zumba, jicama, and yoga. Some experiences were better than others.
6. Jeff. I'm pretty lucky to have a husband who is so supportive of me. He encourages me to develop my talents. He tells me I'm beautiful. He lights up when he sees me, and I love it.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Before and After
I *finally* got around to reupholstering my thrift store chairs. It was so intimidating to me that the fabric sat in the corner for about a year before I took the plunge. And you know what? It wasn't so bad. I did the green one first.
Before:
After:
I chose to do this one first because I thought it would be harder. It was actually pretty easy, and I felt really encouraged when I went to start the second one. But the second one took FOREVER!!! Mostly it just took forever to get all the staples out. Like, twice as long as it took to do the whole first chair. Huge thanks to Jeff for taking pity on me and spending so much time yanking them out. If I had done this one first, I would have never done the second one at all. In fact, I would have chucked both chairs and all the fabric in the trash, and went and spent a whole lot of money on chairs that I liked just as they were.
Before:
Notice the blue dry erase marker all over the seat - compliments of Faith.
After:
After all that, I am really happy with how they turned out. Reupholstering doesn't intimidate me anymore. Not that I'll be doing my couch anytime soon.....
Before:
After:
I chose to do this one first because I thought it would be harder. It was actually pretty easy, and I felt really encouraged when I went to start the second one. But the second one took FOREVER!!! Mostly it just took forever to get all the staples out. Like, twice as long as it took to do the whole first chair. Huge thanks to Jeff for taking pity on me and spending so much time yanking them out. If I had done this one first, I would have never done the second one at all. In fact, I would have chucked both chairs and all the fabric in the trash, and went and spent a whole lot of money on chairs that I liked just as they were.Before:
Notice the blue dry erase marker all over the seat - compliments of Faith.
After:
After all that, I am really happy with how they turned out. Reupholstering doesn't intimidate me anymore. Not that I'll be doing my couch anytime soon.....
Slippin' and Slidin'
Whoa, I am behind. I finally uploaded photos from my camera today, and decided to try to catch up a little.
I have some funny video of the kids going down the slip and slide, but for some reason, I can't upload them. So a photo of Faith will have to suffice.
I have some funny video of the kids going down the slip and slide, but for some reason, I can't upload them. So a photo of Faith will have to suffice.
Friday, June 24, 2011
T-ball
Lots of posts about Michael today. We signed him up for T-ball this summer, and his team was the Pirates. The first three games were rained out, so it was kind of a short season. He told me a few days before the first game that he didn't want to play. I asked him why, and he just kept saying, "I just don't want to," and, "I don't want to play any sports." Finally, he said, "I just don't want to be out." So after I assured him that you don't get out in T-ball, he seemed somewhat excited for his first game.
Which I missed. I felt so bad. I had a staff meeting at work, and it went a lot longer than I had anticipated. But Jeff took photos, and I talked to Michael about it afterward. His face lit up when he told me he had hit the ball three times, and he had run so fast. But when I said, "So did you have fun?" he lowered his eyes and put on a sort of pouty voice to say, "Not really." Whatever. He had just decided he wasn't going to like it, so no matter how much he really did, he couldn't admit it. Stubborn little terd.
Which I missed. I felt so bad. I had a staff meeting at work, and it went a lot longer than I had anticipated. But Jeff took photos, and I talked to Michael about it afterward. His face lit up when he told me he had hit the ball three times, and he had run so fast. But when I said, "So did you have fun?" he lowered his eyes and put on a sort of pouty voice to say, "Not really." Whatever. He had just decided he wasn't going to like it, so no matter how much he really did, he couldn't admit it. Stubborn little terd.
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