I am bold - but not as bold as I wanted to be

Let me first start out by saying I love the Boy Scouts of America. I love the program they run and the effect that it can have in a young man's life. I wish young women were allowed to be a part of it. I spent six summers working at Scout camp when I was in high school and college, and that's where my love for Scouting was born.

I am currently the committee chairperson for my ward's Scout troop, so I attend roundtable each month. For the uninitiated, roundtable is a monthly training and idea-exchange meeting for all the Scout leaders in a particular area. There is a brief opening meeting with everyone in attendance, and then you break off into smaller groups based on your position in your own Scout group. There is a group for Scoutmasters, for committee members, for representatives of the chartered organization, and a bunch more that I can't remember right now. I go to the committee members meeting. 

A few months ago, I was asked to be a roundtable commissioner, which means that I help to teach the class for committee members. I am admittedly pretty new to the Scout committee, so I was surprised they asked me, but I agreed and have been doing that for several months. I've enjoyed it, and I've especially enjoyed being the ONLY female roundtable commissioner in my district (as far as I know - so if you know of another one, don't get all up in my face about spreading false information). It's been kind of funny to stand in the large group meeting and recite the Boy Scout oath and law, and have all these men look at me weird because I actually know the Boy Scout oath and law (six years of Scout camp will do that for you). Also, I stick out like a sore thumb in the commissioners meeting we have after the break-out sessions - both because I am female and because I don't wear a Scout uniform. In fact, I often wear the brightest thing I have just to draw attention to the fact that there IS a female commissioner.

We currently meet in a chapel here in South Ogden. The Cub Scout group also meets in the same building at the same time, and the last several months have been CROWDED. Like, standing-room-only in some classrooms. The roundtable organizers have been discussing the possibility of having the Cub Scouts meet in a different location for some time, and they finally made the decision to split the groups. I've known for some time that this change would be coming, because we've discussed it in our commissioners meeting. The primary concern the organizers had about splitting the group was that then they would have to provide two cracker barrels.

Oh, this Scouting terminology. Cracker barrel means refreshments. Their biggest concern was that they would need to do two sets of snacks. When they first mentioned this concern, my first thought was, "Wait! There's snacks?!? Why didn't anyone ever tell me?" Apparently, there are refreshments for those who attend. But since I have a commissioners meeting, and then ANOTHER meeting after that one (with the Scout leaders from my own stake), I have never had the opportunity to have a snack.

Which brings up another (although unrelated to this post) point: A snack? Really? For a bunch of adults? Why do adults need snacks after a 7pm meeting on a Thursday night? You can't tell me that having a Twinkie and a glass of punch makes coming to the meeting somehow "worth it," and that if they stopped offering this treat that people would stop coming. I don't buy it.

But I digress.

So this morning, one of the district executives called me. He told me that they have indeed decided to split the two roundtable groups. And then he reminded me about their concern for cracker barrel.

It was at this point that I started to feel my heart sink.

He went on to explain that so-and-so's wife has taken care of cracker barrel, but since he is part of the Cub Scout group, they need someone to do cracker barrel for the Boy Scout group.

Awkward silence... I think he was waiting for me to volunteer. I didn't.

Then he said that he had so many people in my class who could easily fill my position (helping teach), but he didn't have anyone to do cracker barrel, and would I maybe be willing to take on that important responsibility?

And then I lied. I said, "Well, my first thought is that I am still the committee chairperson in my ward, so I need to be in that class even if I'm not teaching it. And I also have a meeting with my stake that I need to attend. So I don't know how I would be able to do that."

What's the lie? My statement that it was my first thought. My first thought was actually, "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?! BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN YOU THINK I NEED TO BE IN CHARGE OF REFRESHMENTS!?!?! ANY MAN CAN DO MY TEACHING JOB, BUT ONLY A WOMAN CAN BRING THE TREATS!?!?!"

Something like that. But if I'm being completely honest, I would include a couple of swear words in there.

No, I will not do your cracker barrel. Pretty sure a man is just as capable at buying boxes of Twinkies and mixing up punch. And if he tries really, really, really hard (I'm being sarcastic here, in case you can't tell), he might even be able to put out some napkins and a garbage can.

Next month at roundtable, I'm wearing neon colors.