Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I sure hope not!

Today I finally went and got the maternity massage that Jeff gave me for my birthday. Oh. my. goodness. If I could afford do that every day of my life, I would. It was so relaxing.

Before I went, I brought the kids down to Jeff's mom's house. On the way, I was telling Michael that he and Faith were going to stay there while I went to get a massage, and I explained what a massage is.

When we got to Grandma Sabin's house, I told Michael I was going to leave . Michael told Anna, "Mommy's going to get a mustache."

Yeah, THAT didn't happen. Thankfully.

small successes

1. I woke up late on Sunday. As in, 8:00. I normally get up at least by 7:00 so that we have time to get two kids and ourselves fed, dressed, and to church by 9:00. But I didn't set my alarm Saturday night, because Faith has been waking up around 6:00, and I figured I wouldn't need my other alarm clock. But not last Sunday. As I said, I woke up at 8:00, and had a minor panic attack. But miracles never cease - the two kids and myself were fed, dressed, and to church on time. Jeff wasn't feeling well, so he stayed home until Sacrament meeting. But the rest of us made it!

2. Faith did very well in Nursery. The first week she went, she did awesome. Not a tear. But the next couple of weeks were rough. She cried when we left, and when we'd peek in through the window, she was always sitting on one of the leaders' laps with a sad look and big tears in her eyes. But this time, she cried for a minute when I brought her in. I got her involved with a toy, and when she went to get a different toy, I left. And the leaders said she did great the rest of the day. So hopefully that trend will continue.

3. Jeff and I met for lunch at Olive Garden today. The kids were with us, of course, and you'll never guess..... Michael ate spaghetti! At a restaurant! He's been eating "red noodles" at home for a while now, but we've never been able to get him to eat them at a restaurant. But today he decided that the incentive of having my piece of chocolate as well as his was enough to eat 15 bites. And even better, he fed them to himself. Can you believe it? It sounds stupid to most of you, I'm sure. But it is actually the first time ever that he has eaten any restaurant food, ever (well, besides root beer and Sprite and chocolate milk). We were very proud of him, and we made sure to praise him excessively.

4. I sold our old dining room table for $20. Not bad for a free table from Melissa. Our carport is slowly being cleaned out, and our neighbors are surely relieved that we are not, in fact, opening a thrift store in our driveway. One of the dressers has been picked up. The daybed and king-sized headboard I bought have been moved to the storage shed. The old dining chairs were broken apart and put in the trash today. Now we just have Riley and Nikki's dresser (come get it, hint hint), a dresser I'm trying to sell on KSL, and the rocking chair that Jeff is refinishing.

Friday, September 25, 2009

suggestions?

Okay, experienced moms, and anyone who knows anything about child psychology, here's a challenge for you. How do you get your kids to eat? Specifically, how can I get Michael to eat? I'm not talking about eating normal food, like sandwiches and pancakes and oranges. I'm talking about just eating at all.

Breakfast yesterday took two hours. No kidding. Two hours. And what did he eat in those two hours? About 1/3 cup of yogurt and 1/3 cup of applesauce. That's it. I got sick of waiting around for him to finish, so finally I just took his last food (apricots) and put it in the fridge and told him he'd have to eat that first for lunch.

Every meal is like this. These foods are not hard for him. They are foods that he's been eating well for months (or longer). It's just he's pokey. He dawdles like no kid I've ever seen.

I could just say, look, when I'm done eating, you're done eating. Or, you have half an hour and then you're done. But I don't think that would work with him. Eating is not enjoyable to him. Food is not enjoyable, so if I gave him a time limit, he would just not eat. It would not bother him a bit if he didn't get to eat all of his food. And then he'd lose weight. And since I always feel like he's on the brink of malnourishment, that's just not okay with me. He really does need to eat.

Most people tell me, "He'll eat when he's hungry." Michael has gone through three years of feeding therapy, and one thing I learned during that time, is that no, he won't eat, even when he's starving. The therapists have all said that with 95% of kids, it's true that they'll eat when they're hungry. But there is a small number that will really starve themselves. Michael is the most stubborn of that small number.

Lately I've tried bribery. Not "if you eat, I'll give you a treat." But, "I want to do something fun with you today, and if you take a long time to eat, we won't have time to do anything fun." Sometimes it works a little bit. He eats in one hour instead of two.

It's most frustrating when we need to go somewhere, or when the school bus will be coming soon. And I hate just sitting around waiting for him to finish. By the time he does, it's time to start the next meal. There are days when it feels like he spends all day at the table, and I spend all day getting frustrated.

I think a lot of this is a power struggle. He likes to control things, and this is one area where he very definitely has control. I can't force him to eat (believe me, I've tried).

So if letting him starve himself is off the table, where do I go from here? How do I get him to eat his food without every meal lasting two hours?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thankful Thursday

1. Jeff's job. I'm grateful that his job is stable, and that he's (usually) home by 4:00 or so. He's been working a lot of extra hours lately to meet a deadline, and it's been a little bit of a challenge to not have him home until 5 or 6. I know, I'm such a whiner. But I am glad that his work schedule lets him be home for a good chunk of time each day.

2. Jeff's annual bonus. He got it last week, and we split it in half with the understanding that each of us would spend our half on something to benefit the family. I spent mine on three new (used from KSL) dressers for me, Jeff, and the new baby. The plan was to paint Jeff's old one and use it for Faith, get rid of the one that Faith and Michael share right now, get rid of my old one, and buy new ones for me and Jeff. We have two dressers in storage that match Michael's bunk beds, so he'll get those. Anyway, when all is said and done, we now own eight dressers. We have three under our carport, and we look like we should be living in a trailer park. But hopefully soon they will be gone - we're giving one to a family who needs a dresser for their new baby, one to Riley and Nikki, and hopefully selling one on KSL. Jeff is spending his on a Nintendo Wii and accessories, and he gave me an extra $100 for my stuff.

3. A new dining room set!! Yay!!!!! I bought a new set today with my leftover money, the money from Jeff, and just a little bit more. I'm way excited. The set we have now really isn't a set at all. It's a table we got for free from Melissa, and four chairs we got from one of Jeff's previous co-workers, also for free. Three of the four chairs are broken. Our new one is being delivered on Saturday, and guess what - it has eight chairs! That means that when Mom and Dad are here (or anyone else), we can all sit down AT THE SAME TIME!!! Woo-hoo!

4. Chocolate cake. Yummmmm.

5. Private Selection English Toffee Temptation ice cream. Heavenly.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The crabby man

Okay, I know you're all sick of work posts. But I have to share one story, about a guest we had last night. I'll call him Ray. His name wasn't Ray, but for some reason that name came to mind first.

Ray came in on a fairly busy night. We had rooms, but they were selling pretty quickly. He asked what our room rate was.

Me: I have a smoking room with one queen, or a non-smoking room with two queens tonight. The one queen is $78.99 and the two queens is $89.99 plus tax.

Ray: You can do better than that.

Me: Do you have Triple A or AARP, or a Best Western Rewards Card?

Ray: I have Good Sam.

Me: I can do the Triple A rate, which would be $71.09 for the smoking queen or $80.99 for the non-smoking two queens.

Ray: You're going to make me drive all the way to Burley, aren't you? (He wasn't joking, he really was not happy with these rates.)

Me: I hope you don't have to go all the way to Burley. That's still a couple more hours.

Ray: Well that's where I was headed.

Me: .... (silence - what am I supposed to say at this?)

Ray: You really can't do any better than that?

Me: Not tonight. We're really busy and I don't have many rooms left.

Ray: I guess I'll take it then.

Me: Did you want the smoking room with one bed or the non-smoking room with two?

Ray: Well I'm the only one in the room. I can only sleep in one bed.

Me: Yes, but do you mind having a smoking room?

Ray: If it stinks, I'm never coming back here.

Me: Well, it probably does stink.

Ray: Then give me the non-smoking room, but it's only a dollar more than the smoking room.

Me: I can give you the non-smoking room, but the rate will be $80.99 plus tax.

He kind of throws his credit card down and sighs in exasperation. Meanwhile, I'm thinking "maybe you should drive to Burley."

Me: I need to see some photo ID with your credit card.

Ray: No you don't.

Me: Yes, I do need to see some ID.

Ray: Why?

Me: Your card isn't signed, and it is our policy to check the ID on all credit cards.

Ray: Well you're the first one in five states to ask for my ID. (Like he wasn't willing to show me his ID. It was WAY too much work to open up his wallet again and show me the ID through the little plastic window that most men have their ID in. And besides, people in five states CAN'T be wrong.)

Me: Well I guess I'm the only smart one, then.

Yes, I really said that. I was reaching the point of taking his registration form back from him and telling him that if he really had a problem with proving that his name was Ray, he could keep driving.

Most people thank me when I ask for ID. (Okay, MOST people don't thank me. But of the people who comment about it, there are far more thanks than complaints. After all, it really is for their protection.)

I'm sure when I go into work today I'll hear about how he complained about every little thing until the desk clerk gave him a hefty discount. I wish he had just gone to Burley.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Problem solved... for now

Yay!! I found someone to work the audit shift! Her name is Season (yes, really), and I think she'll be great. She starts tomorrow getting trained during the day on our computer system, etc., and hopefully by next week she'll be able to get some training on the audit, and then hopefully the week after that, she'll be able to give Kay a few nights off. That guy deserves a raise.

Jeff mentioned to a co-worker of his that I was trying to find someone for this position. That co-worker mentioned it to his wife, and she called me and suggested her friend Season. I told her about the job, and said that if Season was interested, she could call me and set up an interview. Season called me about half an hour later, and I interviewed her yesterday morning.

On Saturday, I was up in Huntsville, and I mentioned that I was trying to find someone for this job. Someone suggested my cousin Adam. He's 19, and looking for a job. I was a little hesitant at first, because I've almost NEVER seen a "hire someone from your family" deal work out.

(Okay, there's Jerry and Adam who work together, and our manager Brandon's dad is the owner of this hotel; but seriously, when I worked at Days Inn, my front desk manager hired at various times his father, his cousin, and his sister, and all three were DISASTERS.)

Adam called me later that night and said Melissa had told him we were hiring. I told him about the job, and he said he was interested, so we set up an interview. Adam still seems to me like a little kid, so I was almost doing this just to humor him.

He showed up to his interview in a shirt and tie, and he was very impressive. Truthfully, it was a hard decision between him and Season. I ended up going with her for two reasons: 1) she already had hotel-like experience; and 2) she definitely has more life experience, and I felt like she is more likely to make the right call when dealing with the more "interesting" people that we see. And also, I don't want to feel like I have to report to my family about my employees. Can you imagine? "How's Adam doing at work?" "Why did Adam have to work Sunday?" "Why don't you give Adam a raise?" All of you who know my family KNOW that would happen. And you know who would be asking, and you know why I don't want to deal with it.

But seriously, if Season doesn't work out, I will call Adam. I do think he'd be great. He was very impressive - definitely not the little kid that I think of when I think of all my cousins.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Is it REALLY so hard?

I've been trying to find someone to cover the night audit shifts at work. These are the shifts that used to be worked by the lady who was fired. Since I had a HUGE stack of applications, I didn't advertise the position. I figured, "Hey, the economy is bad, people are looking for work, I have this big stack of applications, I should be able to find someone." Honestly, I hate advertising in the paper. You never know what you're going to get, and you end up sorting through all kinds of people to find one decent one.

Anyway, I sorted through the stack of applications and resumes. Some of them were pretty old, so I narrowed it down to about 15 which had been turned in during the last six weeks, hadn't been fired from every job they've ever had, and had actually held jobs for more than a few months at a time. I called them all, and had one person answer the phone. One out of 15. And she didn't want a graveyard position. So I left 14 messages. Two of them called me back, and I scheduled them both for interviews.

Robert was first. He seemed nice enough. I really think he could do the job well. But then I had my first hint that maybe this wasn't the place for him.

Me: Just so you know, there is a lot of down-time on this job. If you go to school, you could do homework; or you could read a book or something.

Robert: That's no problem, man, I'll just plug my iPod into the computer and listen to music.

Me: Well, actually, our computers at the desk don't have speakers.

Robert: That's no problem. I'll just wear my earbuds, and as long as I take one of them out when a guest comes in, that's cool.

Really? You'd be so kind as to take ONE earbud out when a guest comes in and you might have to DO YOUR JOB?!?!?!?!?

And then this statement:

Robert: My other job is actually just down the street here, and I get off there at 9 pm. So I could bring my stuff with me to that job, and just come here and grab a room for a couple of hours before I clock in. (His shift would start at midnight.)

Okay, so then I knew for sure that this guy was too laid back. He'd probably do fine as far as the work is concerned, but his level of professionalism is seriously lacking. I told him I had another interview scheduled (actually not true at the time of his interview), and that I'd call him when I made a decision. Then I called him later and told him I had gone with a different candidate. Nevermind that at that time there WAS no other candidate. I just wasn't going with him.

Then Andrea called me back. Actually, that isn't quite true. I had called Andrea, but her phone went right to voice mail, and it said, "This is Andrea. My phone isn't working right now, so if you need to reach me, call ...." and she rattled off another number. I called the other number, and it went to a voice mail that was impossible to understand, so I left a message after the beep and that was it.

A little while later, a guy called me back. He said, "Someone called me from this number?" I hate it when people say that. His voice sounded eerily familiar to me, and I thought, "Is this Tim who used to work here?" Tim is an interesting story. He used to show up to work with big spikes hanging out of his nostrils, even after being told that he couldn't have facial jewelry at work. For Halloween he dressed as Fidel Castro, in fatigues complete with a big fat cigar. Just before he quit, we found out he had been letting his friends into rooms to party without anyone paying for those rooms.

Back to the phone call. So when I asked for the guy's name, and he said Tim, I was instantly wary. I found the number he was calling from on the application turned in by Andrea, and so I said, "Actually, I was calling for Andrea." He said she was right there, and I spoke to her. She said she was interested in the job, so we scheduled an interview.

I'm sure that after she hung up, Tim told her all about this place, how she wouldn't be able to wear nose spikes and she'd have to cover her tattoos, because she never showed up to the interview. I was a little peeved that she didn't show up, but then after looking back at Tim's paperwork, and finding that his phone number was the same as hers, I counted myself lucky.

So I was left with no options. Poor Kay (our full-time night auditor) has been working seven nights a week for over two weeks now, and desperately needs a break. But he is the only one trained on the audit shift, so we don't really have an option. I'd honestly be willing to work for him, but with staying up all night and then having to stay awake even longer because the kids are up during the day, I don't think I could function. And besides, I'm not really trained well enough to do it alone.

Why is it so hard to find a decent person? Especially right now? I thought this would be pretty simple.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Resolution

I've mentioned a couple of times on here that we had drama going on at work, and that it was stressing me out. This last few days, at least some of that drama has been resolved.

We found out for sure who had been stealing money. She was interrogated by the detective, but flatly denied it. Because of the evidence the detective had, he asked her to take a lie detector test. That test happened on Tuesday, and while it was being administered, she admitted that she was guilty.

We've pretty much known it was her. The circumstances were such that we couldn't see how it could have been anyone else. Apparently, it actually began quite a while ago, when she would take money out of the shift bags to cover something, and then replace that money before the deposit actually went to the bank. We only caught it when she couldn't replace the money anymore. She claims that her husband suggested, and even kind of forced her into doing this. She wants to keep her job. Not having a job is going to create a HUGE financial struggle for her family.

Brandon let her know, of course, that she couldn't keep her job. Even if we decided to let her stay (and why would we, after this?), the attitude of the other staff toward her would be such that it would be horribly unpleasant. I mean, honestly, if you had to go to work every day and deal with co-workers who knew you were a thief, would you be able to do it for long? I couldn't.

So the issue of who did this is officially resolved. But now we have other issues - like hiring and training a new person, and covering her shifts in the meantime. So there's still stress, but at least we can move forward.

When all is said and done, though, I'm just sick about it. I really, really like this person. I firmly believe that it is not in her character to do this sort of thing. I have no doubt that she felt she was backed into a corner and had no option. I feel terrible that she felt like that. At the end of the day, she is the one who made this decision, and she will have to deal with all of the consequences of that (including possible prosecution). But I wish that things were different. I really hope that she is able to move forward from this, deal with the consequences, and rise above her circumstances.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Delta

The kids and I went to Delta on Tuesday after Michael got home from school. It was a fun trip. Both kids did GREAT in the car both ways (more about that later). We got to see Mandi, Matthew, and Abby for the first time since they moved back from Texas. It was fun to see Mom and Dad, Callie and Averie, and Nikki and Keely. Mandi and Callie and I stayed up way too late gabbing, and I didn't even feel tired the next day until I sat down just before dinner and almost couldn't get myself to stand up again. I finished a couple of sewing projects (a bed skirt for Faith's new daybed and a crib skirt to match the super-cute Pottery Barn Kids bumper pads I scored at a yard sale).

So Michael has learned that when we drive, we go through one town, to the next, to the next, and so on. He asked me on the way down what town we were in. I told him we were in North Salt Lake. He then asked, "Then we'll be in Nephi?" (He knows that Nephi is where Riley and Nikki live, and that it's pretty close to Delta.) I told him no, then we'd be in Salt Lake, then Sandy, then Lehi, then Orem, then Provo, then Springville, then Spanish Fork, then Santaquin, then Mona, and THEN Nephi (I skipped a few towns, obviously). So then every two or three minutes, he would ask again what town we were in. When I told him, "We're in Lehi," he would repeat, "Then we'll be in Orem, then Provo, then Springville....." He had them all memorized. It was cute, but also very annoying to hear the entire list 95 times. And then to have it repeated in reverse all the way home.

And just a side note. I love it when my dad plays with my kids. They LOVE him, and it's so fun to watch them interact. I'm grateful that my kids have the grandparents they do, and that they'll grow up having a relationship with their grandparents.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

On my mind...

After getting the kids buckled into the car outside of the grocery store today, I was approached by a man who asked for change to ride the bus. I use a debit card for just about everything, so I almost never have cash with me. I told the man I didn't have any cash, and he left. No big deal. But Michael had heard me tell him I didn't have any cash, and he asked was that was. I explained that cash is money. That man wanted money so he could ride the bus, but I didn't have any money with me, so I couldn't give any to him.

Michael thought about this for a little while. Then he said, "Mom, I have some green money in my piggy bank at home. You can have some if you need it!" I thanked him, of course, but explained that I don't need money. We have enough money in the bank. I just use my debit card to pay for things instead of using money. This led to a long explanation about how when I use my debit card, it tells the bank to give money to the store, and so on.

I've been trying to think lately of ways to teach Michael about money. He knows we pay tithing, but I'm not sure that he understands what that is. He knows that Daddy goes to work so we can have money to pay for our food and our house and so on, but since 95% of the money we spend is never physically seen by him (or us, for that matter), it's all very abstract for him. He does understand (sort of) when I say we can't buy something because it's too much money, or because we don't have enough money right now, but then he sees me use a debit card or get money from the ATM, and he thinks that's all there is to it. Just go to the ATM and it will give you money. Or just use your card and you won't need the money.

Do you think it's too early to give him an allowance? We've thought about giving him a small allowance (like, 10 dimes a week), and teaching him that one dime goes to tithing, and two dimes go in his piggy bank, and he can use the rest of the dimes to buy himself a treat when we go to the store. As he gets older, we'll teach him more about money, of course, but this would just be a first step. I don't remember getting an allowance or anything until I was eight or so (right, Mom? I can't remember). And Michael is only four. But he is very interested in how much money things cost and how much money we have and how many pennies are in my wallet at all times, and on and on and on.

Anyway, it's just on my mind.