Profile of a Government Employee

Jeff is going to kill me for this. Well, actually, he agrees with me. Just remember, folks, that not ALL government employees are idiots. (I was once a government employee, and Jeff currently is. He's a good example of a non-idiotic government employee.)

First, a little background. Yesterday I took a pre-employment test to be a 2010 census worker. The test was 28 questions long, and we had 30 minutes to complete it. Guess how many questions you had to get right to pass the test. 10. Yes, 10 questions out of 28. That's about 35 percent. If that was passing in any of my college classes, I wouldn't have worked so hard (not really - I'm still a perfectionist).

There were probably 15 of us taking the test. Before we began, the proctor gave us detailed instructions about how to fill out the required forms. Here are a few examples of conversations.
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Proctor: For all of you who brought driver's licenses, this is for you. On the first line in column B, write "driver's license." *pause* On the second line in column B, write the state that issued the license, most of you will have a Utah license.

Man: What do I write on the first line?

Proctor: Write "driver's license." And on the second line, write what state the license is from.

Man: I'm sorry, what do I write on the first line?
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Proctor: On the first line of column C, write "SS card." *pause* On the second line, write "U.S. Government." *pause* On the third line, write your Social Security number. *pause* The fourth line is for an expiration date, but since Social Security cards expire when you die, we don't know when that will be yet.

Same Man: Mine doesn't have an expiration date on it.
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Proctor: I am now handing out your test booklets and pencils. Do not open the booklet until instructed to do so. Do not write anything on the front of the booklet until instructed to do so.

Lady: Should I start filling out this stuff on the front?
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Same Lady: Do I have to use this pencil, or can I use the one I brought? (it was a mechanical pencil)

Proctor: You should use the one I've provided. If your test has to be corrected by scanner, you want to make sure that you have used the correct type of lead. These pencils are number 2 1/2.

Same Lady: I think my pencil is a 2 1/2.

Proctor: Are you sure you want to take that chance? If your test has to be scanned, and the lead is incorrect, you will fail the test.

Same Lady: I just really like my pencil better. If I break the lead, I just have to click it instead of getting a new pencil.

Proctor: I think you'd better just use mine.
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Proctor: You will have 30 minutes for the test. I will tell you when you have 15 minutes left, and then 5 minutes, and then I will say Stop, and you must put your pencils down, and I will collect the test materials.

Kid who looks like he's just out of high school: So we can't just mark the answers with little X's and then when the test is over, go back and fill in the circles?

Proctor: If you have time to do that, you can. But when the 30 minutes is up, you need to put your pencil down.

Kid: So you won't give us time at the end to do that?
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And here's the best/worst part. Some of the people in that room did not pass the test. They will be allowed to retake the test as many times as they want. Sad, isn't it, the low level of achievement that the federal government will accept from its employees.

On a happier note, I passed. And no, it wasn't with 40 percent.