thoughts of lately

I've had a lot of things running around in my head, and I feel like I need to write them down, if only to not forget them.

It seems in every church meeting lately, I've felt a quiet invitation to do more, be better, seek out the Spirit. I think I am too "at ease in Zion." And I feel like I am being invited to step up, to prepare for something better. (Or maybe I'm being prepared for something horrible and I will need the added strength that stepping up will give me. Either way, I should do it.)

I've been grieving for someone else's lost marriage. Every time I drive by their house (at least twice a day) I ache. Even though I know there's nothing I can do for them, I feel there are lessons to be learned from their experience. (Granted, I don't know all of the circumstances here, but I DO know that I can do better to protect my own marriage.)

Watch and pray. I think this is going to be my motto. I'm going to write it on my walls (or get vinyl lettering and stick it to my walls). I need to be more vigilant, more dedicated to things like personal prayer and scripture study, Family Home Evening, and teaching my kids correct principles.

I feel like above all else, I need to guard my testimony, my covenants, my marriage, my family, and my home. Anything that interferes or weakens any of those things should be eliminated from my life.

The General Relief Society meeting last night was so good. I loved the call to charity from President Monson. As he said, (quoting Mother Teresa): If you judge people, you don't have time to love them. I have become a lot better about judging others as I've gotten older. In principle, that is. In truth, I still judge people, a lot. But at least I am recognizing it now and seeing that my judgment is often incorrect or misinformed, and most certainly unnecessary and unproductive.

I've learned that I shouldn't question motives or circumstances, but just to love and serve others where they need it. (However, "should" and "do" are not always the same thing - I'm working on this.)

As anyone who reads my blog knows, my favorite job I ever had was as the editorial assistant at the Church News. But I was often blown away by the comments we received from our readers, about every cover photo we ever ran. "That woman is too fat. She doesn't represent LDS women." "If she followed the Word of Wisdom, she wouldn't look like that." "That woman is obviously wealthy" - they had plantation blinds in the background of the photo - "and her perfect blond hair and blue eyes and perfect home aren't representative of LDS women." "He works on Sunday, why are you writing about him in the Church News?" "She's obviously not wearing garments." And on, and on, and on. So I LOVED what President Monson said last night about such judgments. I know I won't get the wording right, but it was something like, "If your attitude and judgment were reflected in your countenance, which of you would better reflect the spirit of Relief Society?"

I just feel like the Lord is inviting me to better reflect His light to my family and others around me, and to be a better servant to them and to Him. As my good friend April likes to say, "It is time." (Okay, so she got that from Rafiki in The Lion King, but she still likes to quote it.)

It is time.