Two Years

Today is Tori's birthday. It has been two years since she was born sleeping, and even though it is true that time heals, there are still moments when it hits me all over again, and I find myself in tears that are just as real and painful as when it happened. As horrible as that experience was, I'm not sure that I would change it. Is that a terrible thing to say? I just look at my life right now, and I know that if Tori were here, I wouldn't have Faith, at least not yet. And I can't imagine life without her. So no, I don't think I would change it. I guess I just trust that it was what needed to happen at that time. And I know that I will have Tori again. Some people have expressed to me that because she never breathed outside of the womb, that she was somehow not a "real person" or something to that effect. But I know that she was alive inside of me. I felt her movements and I bonded with her even when she was that small, and I feel very strongly that the life she had - even though it was only inside of me - was enough to fulfill God's purposes for her and for us. So Happy Birthday, to my own little angel.